Techie sayings

"God Bless the Cast, Crew, and the Audience and Kick 'em in the ass!"

Apparently, the French word "merde" means "break a leg." Suitably enough, it also means "crap." (Die sensors die!) We mutter that on headset every now and then, when it gets quiet or we're about to start a long line of cues.

SocksOnly said:

Apparently, the French word "merde" means "break a leg." Suitably enough, it also means "crap." (Die sensors die!) We mutter that on headset every now and then, when it gets quiet or we're about to start a long line of cues.

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In Ballet it is trditional for the choreographer, or lead dancer to lick their thumb, make an X on the neck of a dancer, then kick them in the butt and Shout "Merde!" ya gotta love the French.

SocksOnly said:

Apparently, the French word "merde" means "break a leg." Suitably enough, it also means "crap." (Die sensors die!) We mutter that on headset every now and then, when it gets quiet or we're about to start a long line of cues.

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Skeptical of how this could be true I found this on the "alternative French dictionary" website:

"MALPT! (Expletive) Used to wish someone tremendous good luck note Abbreviation for the phrase "Merde A La Puissance Treize!" which is translated as "crap to the thirteenth power". Origin unknown. Used as a friendly term. Example: a friend of yours is about to take an exam. You would say "MALPT!" to wish him well!"

Those French are some "interesting" people

Hopefully, "Here's your check".

gafftaper said:

Those French are some "interesting" people

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Those French have a different word for EVERYTHING!

- Steve Martin

dj_illusions said:

i work on a few tv gigs occasionally as a ccu operator...
one of the td's i reguarly work with tells interns when setting up coax runs between the truck and the camera, as a way to remember which end the male and female go to he says...
'always remember, pr*cks on the camera, c*nts in the truck'

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My favorite is always "Fu*k the truck" its simple and easy to rember.

Just saw this on yet another t-shirt:

I know my job looks like fun. I am working. Kindly do not f*ck with me.

FxDrew said:

How many sound guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1...2.... 1...2.... 1...2.... 1....2.... 1.....2.... 1.... 2......

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Yes thats true...but how many lighting directors does it take to check a mic?

Check circuit 1,2,.....95,96,97

*director in back* "GET ON WITH IT YOU JERK!"

one the last show the one i heard the most was

No matter what...Stay Calm...as long as no one dies...there is no problem (our TD)

lets get this show on the ball (me every night durring places call)

erik kicked the floor mic again...we get to kick him (our TD)

when in doubt...ask robin (me) (robyn was the TD)

hey robyn...the band is complaining....again...this time they want to kill you...[not agian...they did that yesterday] (me and robyn)

best one durring the show was in the green room...for some reason no actor would go in there...only the techs...so one night one of them came in to get a drink, he was in white...we were all in black he walks in and says "well...now im a minority)

so this thread is pretty long, so im sorry if this is a repeat but here are a few of mine
(for eletrical Fixes) "spit on it"
(for set fixes) "if they notices it the actor isnt doing his job"
(and of course) "i cant i have rehearsal"
(oh and for those stressful monents) "relax its not brain surgery"

amodaus said:

(oh and for those stressful monents) "relax its not brain surgery"

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Mine was always, " Relax, This Ain't Rocket Surgery!"

safety...eventually

Percussive realignment fixes everything! (read: bang on it until it starts working again)

"You're just jealous because I get to sit at Command Central!"


This sprung from the show that I'm doing right now where I'm surrounded over 200 degrees by tech equipment, because I'm running lighting, cd music, and sound effects cues (from a different speaker).

my favorite was from our TD, "If the director doesn't notice it, it doesn't need to be fixed."

Oh yeah and you know that 30' rule the " they'll never see it from the audience." an Old boss of mine used to always say " from a distance, it'll still look far away."

"Good from far, but far from good."

i forgot one (only to be used durring rehersal...)
oops my finger slipped...

Since we are currently in the middle of set construction an oldie but a goodie comes to mind- Beat to fit, paint to match.