I can't believe I'm asking this... need advice on stage semen.

[SweetBennyFenton]

So... this is an interesting take on the normal "I need a good stage blood" question. I need stage semen.

In the action of an upcoming show, an actress gets covered by semen from a flock of flying phalluses (say that three times fast) We are looking for something that looks like semen, will not stain costumes and is safe for an actor's skin/eyes/mouth.

So... uh... anyone have any ideas?

 

[cprted]

Cornstarch and milk.

 

[Van]

Or cornstarch and glycerin. < if the actress is Lactose intolerant..>

What show are you doing over there ?

 

[SweetBennyFenton]

It's a student written show... 'nuf said.

 

[ajb]

Apparently methyl cellulose is what's used in a, uh, certain 'genre' of adult films for this purpose--which I swear I only know because wikipedia told me!

Regarding student-written shows, at the talkback for one we had when I was in college, the playwright commented that he didn't always put much thought into the practicality or producibility of stage directions--it's so easy to write "character does X" or "Y happens". But his perspective changed dramatically when he was in the audience and had to actually watch his characters "have awkward sex", in compliance with his stage directions.

 

[FatherMurphy]

Would white curlicue streamers or confetti be an option?

 

[SHARYNF]

Diluted yogurt is an alternative, but cornstarch and glycerin is probably easier to deal with

Sharyn

 

[erosing]

I have found diluted yogurt (by water or milk) to be a too akin to milk of magnesia or peptobismol if dyed.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[MNicolai]

ChaCha gave this recipe:

Bring white rice to the boil, simmer for 10 minutes. The longer the thicker it goes, strain the rice, use the liquid left over.

I also seem to recall hearing the props guys from American Pie saying that they did some experimenting and ended up using egg whites to make fake semen for a certain scene where it needed to look like semen in a cup of a beer.

There's probably a hundred different ways you can do the effect, but you may want to experiment with different techniques and find out which is most convenient for you to produce, which is easiest to handle on stage, and also important, how easy the different types are to clean up and whether or not they stain.

 

[Milton]

Just a shot in the dark (ha ha), but have you tried an organic dish detergent? Assuming that they don't have to swallow.

 

[Corbettlight]

I'm not sure about the stainability, but white chocolate syrup looks stunningly like semen.

 

[BrianWolfe]

All stagehands to the grid! Or in a more civilized world confectioners sugar with water or glycerin.

 

[Morpheus]

All stagehands to the grid!

yea, but calling that would be a PITA

 

[NZSM]

Perhaps something as simple as body lotion, it's made to be put on skin and the majority of the stuff has the properties of semen.

 

[kendal69]

Egg Whites

 

[shiben]

yea, but calling that would be a PITA

And I have heard getting that out of hair is a problem.

Ok. WHY are there people getting rained on by flying phalluses? I am super curious. Student written, sure. But really?

 

[SweetBennyFenton]

The idea is that an artist has made something pretty (a princess walks onstage) then the artist wants his audience to have a viseral reaction to the art he made, so he defiles that pretty thing (two buckets of blood are poured over the princess) then, when the audicene is uncomfortable, the artist wants to offend and anger them (that's when the penises fly on stage and "deposit" semen on the princess.

It's an extended metaphore for the work of Antonin Artaud and the Theatre of Cruelty. The script is actually quite good, but just as Artaud's work asked for things that are techiclly imposable... so does this student writer.

I'll let you know how my semen tests go this week.

 

[derekleffew]

I'll let you know how my semen tests go this week.

Thanks for that, really, but sometimes not knowing is better.

 

[SweetBennyFenton]

Just in case anyone is curious, we had some very good results with our stage semen.

We used the mix of Vegatable Glycerin and a lot of corn starch. Great consistancy, great look. The audience was really impressed (and disgusted).

 

[MarshallPope]

I may regret asking this... but are there pictures?