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Patrons

Discussion in 'Safety' started by Charc, Jan 31, 2008.

  1. Charc

    Charc Well-Known Member

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    I don't believe we've covered this topic before, but it's something that came up today at my internship. I'm sure you've all had interesting/troubling/humorous interactions with those stubborn/dim-witted/know-it-all patrons, care to share some stories? (Is this too vague? I may need to clarify tomorrow.)

    Example:
    Patrons that claim to have been season subscribers for 10 years longer than your theatre company has been around.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2008
  2. derekleffew

    derekleffew Resident Curmudgeon Senior Team Premium Member

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    There's a reason the British and the Australians call them punters:

    For those who don't know, the (former) Buccaneer Bay Sea Battle (now the Sirens of TI) is a free outdoor show, that takes place, weather permitting, outdoors in a man-made, ten million gallon, body of water in front of the Treasure Island Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas.

    After a performance, while the crowd was dispersing, an audience member, who had just witnessed the twenty stuntmen dive into the drink, stopped me and asked "Is that real water?" Incredulously, I answered "yes."

    But later upon recounting the story to others, consensus was I should have responded "No, it's imitation water."
     
  3. miriam

    miriam Active Member

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    Imitation water: just add water.
     
  4. tenor_singer

    tenor_singer Active Member

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    When I A.D.ed a theater back in the 90's, I initiated a program at our theater stressing "informed show viewing".

    Our biggest problems were when patrons left shows in some form of emotional distress because "[they] didn't know that the show involved [the topic that caused their distress]".

    Our worst was, believe it or not, a very religious patron who came to see Godspell[\u] and who left highly offended because of the way the the authors described the life of Christ.

    My response to him was that if he took a couple of minutes to look up the show that he was going to see so that he could be an informed audience member, then he could have avoided his discomfort.

    No matter how crazy our patrons made me, though... I never once lost sight of the fact that as annoying as they may be, it was their money that afforded us the opportunity to produce our shows.
     
  5. Van

    Van CBMod CB Mods Premium Member

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    I don't know if I posted this story here yet. We recently closed Mars on LIfe: A Holiday Cabaret. We have a wonderfull Nationally known cabaret singer/Actress named Susanna Mars, she's somewhat of a local celebrity, and an all around great human being. She and the director put together an musical review for the holiday season, a little Christmas, a little Chanukka, a lot of laughs and good cheer. So this year they put in a song called "Taj" well that's how you pronounce it I dont; know if that's the way you spell it., Anyaway, it's a Christmas/Winter song in Arabic, Taj means snow. After telling a story about visiting the Holy Lands this last summer, and explaining that " It really is Christmas all over the world...." she starts singing this song. A guy in the house right section of seating stands up and screams at the top of his lungs, " How Dare You!?!", "How Dare you sing a song in Arabic at this time of year?" He runs down onto the stage and gets into Susanas face! Foaming at the mouth and screaming at her. He finally turns and walks out. < band didn't miss a beat and Sus only missed a couple of lyrics. Then another couple gets up and follows him out. Our House manager stopped the couple and asked if they would like to share the reason for their Leaving, as they were not with the other patron. The Woman explained that they had thought it was, " An Adult Cabaret". < I think she confused Cabaret and Burlesque> "Oh and We thought the Arabic song was offensive too.."

    Then there is the patron that mails in Critiques of every shows costumes.......
     
  6. Grog12

    Grog12 CBMod CB Mods Premium Member

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    This one is for the people in Las Vegas....

    I worked out at Super Summer Theatre which is basically outdoor theatre in a barn for anyone who's never been there. One one of the occasion we had to cancel because of Thunder and Lighting being to close by I happened to notice a family underneath the largest tree alongside the venue arguing about whether or not they should be standing under that tree.

    Quickly remembering what I was taught in kindegarten I decided that since I looked proffesional I might want to help out the wife who really didn't want to be standing under a tree during a lightning storm. I walked up and said.."You might not want to be standing under that tree with all the lightning around."

    To which her husband replied with the dumbest thing I've ever heard.....please don't think about this for too long as your head may explode.

    "What? Its not like its made of metal or anything!"
     
  7. Eboy87

    Eboy87 Well-Known Member

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    A few words: Miss Preteen St. Louis, and all the associated mothers with said contestants. My god, I've never wished for a security team more in my life.
     
  8. avkid

    avkid Not a New User Fight Leukemia

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    One of those pageant companies wanted to hire me.
    I declined.
     
  9. derekleffew

    derekleffew Resident Curmudgeon Senior Team Premium Member

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    The only thing worse is a Mr. Universe contest!
     
  10. bobgaggle

    bobgaggle Well-Known Member

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    Occupation:
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    Peeves:

    4. Dad's who walk onto the stage after your show and start knocking on set pieces, determining their "soundness".

    3. The Mom who gives her crying kid her car keys to play with and calm down, "For never was there a *jingle* of more woe, than this of Juliet and *WAHHHHH!!!!*"

    2. After the show, greeting moms and dads and grandmas. And the random guy walks up to you and says, "when you sing that one line in that one song when you're looking at the audience, you should cross to the chair and sit down."......................................."Umm, who are you?"

    1. And the greatest. A full gown, "intelligent and learned" adult, comes up and says, "I see that you played Mr. Hyde, designed the lights, and built the set...was that a lot of work?".
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    "No, my alter-ego played Mr. Hyde, the lights were just a bunch of LightBrights that we flipped on, and I bought the set pre-assembled at Costco."
     
  11. Pie4Weebl

    Pie4Weebl Well-Known Member Fight Leukemia

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    Hey don't knock all the pageants, I worked one and during the pageant week I had a bunch of good looking females flirting with me who were for the most part nice, and one of them was even a radiohead fan!

    Now those dance competitions for little kids are a whole different story *shudder*


    Anyhow my best patron story is I was ushering a show I was running spot for to make a better paycheck and there was a man who walked in wearing a hat with a pig stuffed animal covering most of it and I complemented him and he turned around and handed me a small rubber pig which now resides on my dash board.
     
  12. Eboy87

    Eboy87 Well-Known Member

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    A good point pie, the contestants in the Miss Missouri lead-ups can be quite the pleasure to work with. Met a very nice redhead who was as big a Dave Matthews fan as me. Their mothers on the other hand....

    Now, India Dance, that was fun :rolleyes: The quote of that show said to me, "More Light! More Light!". I was running the sound board.
     
  13. avkid

    avkid Not a New User Fight Leukemia

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    That's what it was.
    I have no issues with "grown up" pageants.;)
     
  14. Spikesgirl

    Spikesgirl Active Member

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    This is an older thread, but I just found it.

    Thank you all for making me very glad I haven't worked any pageants.

    My dumb story - we had a sick actor who got through with his part and headed home instead of taking a curtain call. He'd been 'run down' (off stage) in a previous scene. On their way out, the older man and woman stopped me, wanting to make sure that the young man hadn't actually been killed off stage. Huh? That would be a little limiting. Just like the patron who, when I mentined we were thinking about doing "Misery" said, "You're not really going to cut off his foot on stage, are you?" Sigh, people and their children...

    Char5lie
     
  15. Grog12

    Grog12 CBMod CB Mods Premium Member

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    Yes yes we are going to cut off his foot. We find the realism adds a sense of urgency that keeps the audience on the edge of their seat don't ya think?
     
  16. Spikesgirl

    Spikesgirl Active Member

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    And then replace him each night with another actor willing to be permanently maimed in the course of the show. You gotta love folks...

    Char5lie
     
  17. Van

    Van CBMod CB Mods Premium Member

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    Well if Actors were as committed to their Art as we are .......

    :rolleyes:
     
  18. punktech

    punktech Active Member

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    you know what's better?

    audiences that think that they're hearing the people in the sound-proofed booth, when in actuality they're hearing the tons of people that hang out in the lobby at my school...

    i've been chewed out so much for that one. i'm sorry i'm talking during your silly classical music (which doesn't have any visible emotional effect on you at all, yeah i can tell you *really* love it), but it was not me you heard talking, you heard the freshmen boys that do photo and are really loud and uncouth that hang out for hours at a time in the lobby of our arts center.
     
  19. Marius

    Marius Active Member

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    I used to be the ATD for a community college theatre/road house, and the worst patrons were the parents for the dance recital rentals every summer. We begged the companies to sell reserved seating, but most couldn't be bothered. Even though we'd post numerous 'The Doors Open at 7:30' signs, there were always hordes of self-important goobs banging on the doors at 6:30. Then, once we did open, Aunt Bessie would rush into the theatre, storm down to the second row, and then strip down as far as her modesty would allow so she could put an article of clothing on as many seats as possible since the entire clan 'might' show up. For one such recital, despite having the evening's host ask the audience several times to move in and fill the empty seats, there were so many people sitting in the aisles(we had a continental style house) I literally had to stop the show, go out on stage myself, and inform the audience that until the aisles were clear the show would not continue.
    Then there was the year that on two separate recitals one of the little darlings pulled the fire alarm during the show. Our smoke doors and fire curtain were tied in to the alarm, so even once we got the alarm shut off, and the fire dept. sent away, it took another 45 minutes to reset the machinery.

    Good times.
    ;-)
     
  20. Spikesgirl

    Spikesgirl Active Member

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    You don't know how grateful I am that we don't have any of these! patrons sitting in the aisles-not a fun time.

    We do have fire alarms and bomb threats on a regular basis though during finals. Nothing I like more than hanging around out of the dock waiting for them to clear the building so we can go back in - not bad in May, pretty cold in December.

    Char5lie
     

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