Website Opinions Please?

[techno89]

Hello CB!

Scott here. I've been very actively pursing Lighting Design for the past two years and I have finally come to a point where I am now designing shows for my local theatre on a regular basis. I am 14, I just finished another show and finally decided it was time to update my website, so cb, if you would please, take a look at the photos from my show, for opinions on my design and take a look at my website for opinions on perhaps how to rearrange it more efficiently.

Photos: Pippin Photos

Website:
www.scottsmithtech.net

Thanks,
Scott

 

[Footer]

For Pippin, do you have any shots that do not look like they were taken from a ladder 20' in the air above SL? Having some nice wide shots that emulate what the audience sees is beneficial. Overall... it looks like very other "made on a mac" website out there.

 

[Pie4Weebl]

loose the counter.

"Photos from shows that I did lighting design for. Peter Pan and 13 are not my designs but shows that I had a technical crew role in." It could be just me, but those sentences read awkwardly.

Also is there any way you can make the admin access page go away? Perhaps hide those links for you on a "hidden page"

Good start!

 

[techno89]

Footer, I'm working on getting photos from the audience.

Pie4Weebl: I agree it read awkwardly and I think I should remove the admin access page aswell.


Any opinions on the design of pippin?

 

[metti]

I have a few thoughts. Some have been touched on by previous posters but I will reiterate anyway and, obviously, some are on the subjective side so you can take them or leave them.:

-Lose the hit counter and the Made on a Mac logo. While the later is sort of obvious since it looks like something produced by iWeb, it still does nothing for your site to have it there and it detracts from a professional presentation.

-I would make the words "Lighting Designer" smaller than your name on the front page.

-Lose the picture of the Express from your "Shows" page. Why is it there to begin with?

-On "Shows" the size of the type used for each show changes part of the way down. Little problems like this really subtract from the design of a site.

-For each show, list not only the title, venue and your position but also include the director, the designer if it was someone other than you (which it is in some cases), and the year the show took place. I might include the number of performances that took place if it is more than a few in most cases but that is up for discussion.

-I would make the type size larger for the title of each show and smaller for the other text. Maybe italicize or do something to make your role standout.

-It does not appear that there is any rhyme or reason to the order in which you present shows. Consider creating one. Most recent to oldest or most important to least important are two possibilities.

-"This is a list of all of the shows and productions I have been a part of." should be "This is a list of all of the shows and productions of which I have been a part." Don't end a sentence with a preposition. Grammar is important. Also, in your mind, what is the difference between a show and a production?

-The opening line for the page "Lighting Design Photos" has similarly poor grammar. Don't include shows on which you served in a non-creative capacity. Lose the sentence about Peter Pan and 13 and then lose the albums of pictures for them.

-No one is going to choose you for a show based on your love of gadget blogs and Apple. I too love gadget blogs and apple. So do millions of other people. Same goes for YouTube. Unless you favorite links are lighting related, don't include them. Actually, just don't include them. Put them on your Facebook instead.

-Get someone to take a headshot of you where we can see your head. If you don't want to show your face, don't include a picture of anything above your neck. (Nice camera though.)

-On a related note, lose the Facebook badge.

-As for your bio/message to the reader, I have one word: Rewrite. I'm not sure what you are trying to accomplish with your site (jobs, college admissions, etc) but I am pretty sure that this paragraph of text will not help you towards any of your goals.

-"Thats all for now...." Really? Did you get board in the middle of working on your site and decide....

-Lose the admin access page. If you really need it make a teeny-tiny link at the bottom of your About Me. I'm talking 6pt, grey colored text here.

-Either make a contact page and remove your email from the front page or add your email to the bottom of every page. If a visitor doesn't scroll down the page when first they arrive at your site, they might never know that the address is there and they might not spend the time to try and figure it out. Make it obvious how to reach you.

-I would include in what city/state you are located at some point on the site.

-One little nit-pick: The space between the bottom of the text for the page title and the page content is the same on all of the pages of your site except for "About Me" where it is smaller due to your placement of your headshot. This doesn't look at good as it could.

While I may not have made it out to seem this way, you are on track to a pretty decent site. As I have told several other people who posted about their sited on CB, the litter things really matter. Bad proof reading and little layout issues can really subtract from the overall experience if you let them. Don't.

 

[cpf]

Most of my suggestions have already been mentioned, but maybe add some dates to the shows? Are they even in chronological order? The grammar and punctuation around the site is lackluster at times, too.

Also, the About page has already been mentioned, and I'd suggest while you're rewriting it you add more info about your general geographical location, the theatre you work at (does it have a website? Links!), stuff like that, all the while reducing the, in my opinion rather unprofessional, 'geek squad rant' quotient.

Oh annd, the URL: can you cut out the /SmithTech/ bit, looks a bit odd and redundant.

 

[metti]

Most of my suggestions have already been mentioned, but maybe add some dates to the shows? Are they even in chronological order? The grammar and punctuation around the site is lackluster at times, too.

Also, the About page has already been mentioned, and I'd suggest while you're rewriting it you add more info about your general geographical location, the theatre you work at (does it have a website? Links!), stuff like that, all the while reducing the, in my opinion rather unprofessional, 'geek squad rant' quotient.

Oh annd, the URL: can you cut out the /SmithTech/ bit, looks a bit odd and redundant.

All good points which pretty much line up with what I said.

No he can't remove anything from the URL since he uses iWeb which, while useful, has weird and unavoidable URL (and coding) conventions. It does look a bit odd and redundant but it is not worth learning Dreamweaver over.

 

[techno89]

@metti Thanks for taking the time to write such a great response, I agree with all of those ideas and will edit the site when I get home later. Anyone still have opinions on the lighting design of pippin?

 

[metti]

Anyone still have opinions on the lighting design of pippin?

Try posting the link to those pictures in the Lighting forum, you will probably get more responses.

 

[techno89]

Alright Metti,

I believe I incorporated most of your suggestions into my site. Some if them I will still have to work on. The shows are listed in a chronological order. I rewrote the About Me paragraph, I seemed to struggle with it a little so please tell me what you think.

Thanks,
Scott

 

[erichart]

It sounds like you've already taken a lot of the suggestions to heart and have a much better website for it. I'd like to reiterate that the sentence on the "shows" page (This is a list of all of the productions I have been a part of) is still grammatically incorrect. On that note, I don't think you ever want to declare that your list is, in fact, every show you've ever worked on—even if it is. Saying it is "some" of the shows, or that it is a list of "selected productions" you've worked on is better. Better still is to edit your list down—no reason to be all-inclusive. Your website is presenting your lighting design work; you can talk about your spot-op and sound experience on your "about" page if you really feel it is necessary.

I'm wondering why you have separate pages for "shows" and "photos". When I visited the shows page, I wanted to click on a show to see photographs; instead, I had to click over to the photos page and then click on an album, and the albums are left without the context of the date and venue. A single page for shows, with links to the individual album, might be more efficient.

These are, of course, just my opinions. Feel free to ask more questions if you still want some guidance.

 

[metti]

Alright Metti,

I believe I incorporated most of your suggestions into my site. Some if them I will still have to work on. The shows are listed in a chronological order. I rewrote the About Me paragraph, I seemed to struggle with it a little so please tell me what you think.

Thanks,
Scott

Much better but there are still a couple things worth fixing.

-On the Contact Me page, include your email not just a mailto link. If someone uses webmail or is on a public computer they should still be able to easily access the email address itself for copy and pasting, etc.

-I would still like to see more information about each show on your "Shows" page. It also bears noting that chronological order makes much more sense when you provide the dates (or year in this case) so people can easily tell why you chose to order them as you did.

-Don't end a sentence with a preposition. "Photos from shows that I did Lighting Design for." would be better as something like "Photos from show for which I was the lighting designer." Even better would be "Please choose a gallery for pictures from shows I have designed recently." or something along those lines.

-At times, your body text is excessively large.

-I like your chosen picture for the "About Me" page; it is much better than the one of you with your camera.

-The "About Me" text is a VAST improvement over what you had before but it still has some awkward phrasing and funky grammar. I'm also not sure I would include "Some of my recent designs include Pippin, Oliver, and Company!" since this is sort of redundant with other parts of your site. Consider what message you want to convey and then figure out how to convey it. This is no different than writing something for school except that this needs to convey a lot in a short amount of space. Once you have your next draft, post it here for more feedback and consider asking your English teacher to skim through it since an extra set of trained eyes is always beneficial.

 

[techno89]

Eric- Thanks, I PM'd you.

Metti- the shows page is a WIP and I need to get more info on when all of those shows actually ran. I honestly don't remember. I guess you could say for the about me text I am confused about what to convey. I basically want to say Hey! I do lighting, this is what I do, and heres how. But I really am confused on how to word it.

heres my thing about the email. my main email is [email protected] but it tends to have some troubles with a limited amount of email accounts from other providers. so the mailto sent it to that email and a copy to [email protected]

would it be unprofessional to use a gmail ?

 

[metti]

It sounds like you've already taken a lot of the suggestions to heart and have a much better website for it. I'd like to reiterate that the sentence on the "shows" page (This is a list of all of the productions I have been a part of) is still grammatically incorrect. On that note, I don't think you ever want to declare that your list is, in fact, every show you've ever worked on—even if it is. Saying it is "some" of the shows, or that it is a list of "selected productions" you've worked on is better. Better still is to edit your list down—no reason to be all-inclusive. Your website is presenting your lighting design work; you can talk about your spot-op and sound experience on your "about" page if you really feel it is necessary.

I'm wondering why you have separate pages for "shows" and "photos". When I visited the shows page, I wanted to click on a show to see photographs; instead, I had to click over to the photos page and then click on an album, and the albums are left without the context of the date and venue. A single page for shows, with links to the individual album, might be more efficient.

These are, of course, just my opinions. Feel free to ask more questions if you still want some guidance.

+1 on all points. Eric, I can say that linking as you are suggesting might be tricky in iWeb although it would be good if he could make it happen.

 

[metti]

Eric- Thanks, I PM'd you.

Metti- the shows page is a WIP and I need to get more info on when all of those shows actually ran. I honestly don't remember. I guess you could say for the about me text I am confused about what to convey. I basically want to say Hey! I do lighting, this is what I do, and heres how. But I really am confused on how to word it.

heres my thing about the email. my main email is [email protected] but it tends to have some troubles with a limited amount of email accounts from other providers. so the mailto sent it to that email and a copy to [email protected]

would it be unprofessional to use a gmail ?

IMHO it wouldn't be a particularly significant problem to use a Gmail. If it was [email protected] I would probably say no but your chosen Gmail is probably fine. In the end, it has to work so you don't miss out on an opportunity because you don't get the email offering it to you.

First determine who your site it for. Then say, "What would this site visitor want to know about me?" Then answer these questions while simultaneously conveying how responsible, knowledgeable and generally awesome you are. I understand that this is a pretty tall order but start with the first couple of things and go from there. Feel free to PM me for better contact information if you want to go over the process in more depth.

-Also, for a middle (high?) school student who isn't worrying about college or anything like that yet, your site is on track to being in a really good place. No one really expects professional level copy since most professional companies don't even have professional level copy. That said, good copy will be that much more impressive on your site.

 

[techno89]

I'll be making these updates tomorrow. I do know how to make that link happen.

 

[Pie4Weebl]

Scott,
Looking at the changes you've made, I would make the following suggestions:
-Move the "about me" onto the mainpage. and cut down on one page.
-On the show list page, put the four shows you designed first in that list, on those shows, add a click through into the gallary for that show, that way your photos page and show page can be only one page.

It's looking better with every change you make!

 

[metti]

Scott,
Looking at the changes you've made, I would make the following suggestions:
-Move the "about me" onto the mainpage. and cut down on one page.
-On the show list page, put the four shows you designed first in that list, on those shows, add a click through into the gallary for that show, that way your photos page and show page can be only one page.

It's looking better with every change you make!

Agreed on the second count, maybe agreed on the first count but worth a shot.

 

[nquinn2]

Scott,
Great start for a website! I agree with everything that has been suggested and it looks like you are on the right track. What are your goals for this site? Are you looking for other jobs? Are you hoping to go to college for lighting design? Do you just want to have an organized record of your work for yourself? The answer to those questions may inform what further steps you might want to take.

If you are using the site for seeking jobs/colleges, be prepared to have a hardcopy of your portfolio, so you have something tangible to look at during the interview. Also do you have a resume? It’s basically everything on your show page. Important information to include: what show, where it was, what year (as you go further in your career specific dates won’t matter too much), and sometimes most importantly, WHO you worked with. If you designed, then list the director/producer. If you were a tech, list the designer or your “boss.” Finally don’t forget references. You can create a PDF of your resume and link to it on your contact page.

Website notes:
--I agree with Victor that you could move the about me and even the contact information to the welcome screen. And maybe one or two examples of you work that link to the show page.

--As the viewer what are you trying to show me? Your use of color, angles, interesting solutions for tricky scenes/no budget no equipment shows?

--For Pippin: if you could only show ten photos, which would you show and why? Only five? Which single photo or two photos is your favorite? And why? Interviewers sometimes ask, “So why is this in your portfolio?” And the reason should not be, “Well I just put all the good photos I had in there.” I’d much rather see five photos that you are totally passionate about and could talk for hours about than 45 photos. Quality over quantity. “Miss the Man” is nice. “With You Dance” shows interesting color choices. Find the ones that you really like.

--If you can loose the dead space in between lines so the majority of the main image is in the browser window so people don’t have to scroll down each time.

--Don’t forget about alt tags for images and meta keywords so search engines can “read” your site.

I think it’s amazing for a high school student to have this developed of a site. Keep going!

Cheers,
Nick

 

[metti]

Also do you have a resume?

I can answer this. He does have a resume but it is a work in progress. He emailed it to me and I gave him feedback on it. He may post it for general feedback at some point.