"Sorry, but we require a buy in at the KSM-137
level or higher."
I am laughing so hard, I've got tears streaming down my
face.
I'll add to this story. The worship pastor was away for a week, and reluctantly, he allowed this guy to fill in as lead guitar. (Just to note, this guy had been practicing for weeks with the worship team on their regular Wednesday night rehearsal and had recently donated two Beta 57's and two Beta 58's to the worship team)
I had sound that
Sunday, and I was told this guy would be leading worship.
Sunday morning rolls around and since we meet at a school, we show up early for
load-in, then
sound check, then practice, then the service.
This guy shows up with a *snow-white vinyl wrapped 4x12 marshall cabinet and head with gold
trim* and parks himself right up front. Then rolls out this insane petal setup. Really? Are you serious? That's not how we
roll around here. It's not the Bob show, it's worship. I tell him to put the cab away, and DI into the
house rig. We've got nice monitors and we rarely exceed 95db, it's NOT a loud service.
He throws an
epic tantrum. Has a meltdown at 8:45 in the morning. But I'm the senior pastor's son and head of the sound team. He calms down, puts the cab and head behind the curtain, plugs into a DI, and does practice. Then we break for
Sunday School. Half hour before the service. I leave to go get my wife and kids because our other car was in the shop that weekend. I get back with maybe a minute to spare.
What do I see when I walk into the
auditorium? Yep, that freaking 4x12 obnoxious white cab. He's also moved himself further forward. I have no time to deal with this crap. He launch's into the first song and the service starts. I have to adjust everything on the fly because his rig is cranked. I'm seeing red, and not just on my board's meters. He runs this rocked out version of a standard worship song and actually does a solo
on the opening song. Song is finally over, and one of the elders approach the
lectern/pulpit and makes an off the cuff remark about it being very loud. I wave over another guy on my sound team to man the
console, and race backstage.
Sneak behind the 2nd curtain and unplug his extension
cord that's going to his cab and head
unit, then
snap the pins on the extension
cord. Race back to
FOh position just as the opening prayer is wrapping up. "Bob" has realized that his rig has no
power, (guess he couldn't hear the hum anymore) and is quickly plugging back into the DI box that he had been given during practice.
Meanwhile, I'm frantically resetting down to approximately where I was at during practice. Prayer wraps up and it's time for the main three song set. He plays his heart out, but I control his mix and what is feed to the mains and the monitors. What I can't control is his unrehearsed solos and bridges. The rest if the worship team is glaring daggers at him. But hey, in his mind, it's "The Bob Show". To the rest of us, he's an egotistical train wreck.
So, the service ends and I know there is going to be a confrontation. I race out to my car, grab one of the spare extension cords that's always littering my truck, and head back in, and go straight backstage. He's there, fuming and ranting. He holds up the extension
cord and starts to yell. I toss him my spare
cord and tell him to pack up his crap and leave. No one else on
stage was jumping to his defense, so he leaves.
He then apparently goes to the church office the next day and starts screaming at my dad and the worship pastor. I was expecting this, and was able to
switch shifts with someone else to have today off at the last minute. I got the text from the worship pastor asking for details, and I tell them I'll be there in 15 minutes. I get there and "Bob" is still ticked and my dad doesn't look too happy either. First thing I do is pull out my phone and show a picture to the worship pastor of the guy's rig. He stares at it, and turns to the guy and calmly asks him why he just lied to the pastors, since that picture was a far cry from the gear he was describing. The guy starts hemming and hawing and I take the opportunity to tell the worship pastor
exactly what happened. By the end of that meeting, the guy had been informed that his participation in the worship team was no longer welcome. The guy at least had the class to not demand the mics he'd just donated back. But I never heard or saw from him again.
And that's the story of how we got 4
Shure Beta mics.