anon said:
You all failed to answer the posters original question, How many techs does it take to change a lightbulb?
HELLO PEOPLE!!! It's a LAMP not a LIGHTBULB!!!
From Harry C. Box's
Set Lighting Technician's Handbook, Third Ed.:
How many directors does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
One. No, two. No, no one.
How many gaffers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
One, no two . . . how many do you have on the truck?
How many electricians does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
It's not a
bulb, it's a
globe.
How many grips does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
Grips don't change light bulbs. That's
electric
ALTERNATE:
Two. One to hold it and the other to hammer it in.
How many executive producers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
Executive producers don't screw in light bulbs. They screw in hot tubs.
How many production managers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't have to keep screwing around with all these light bulbs!
How many ACs (camera assistant) does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell you how they did it on the last show.
How many fire
safety officers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
One, but it's an 8-hour minimum.
How many
teamsters does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
Four. You got a problem with that?
How many art directors does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
Does it have to be a light
bulb? I've got a really nice candelabra we could use.
To finish the list:
STUNTMEN: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how b**chin' he looked doing it.
STUDIO EXECS: No one knows. Light bulbs last much longer than studio execs.
ACTORS: 100. One to screw it in and 99 to say they could have done it better.
SCREEN WRITERS: The light
bulb is IN and it is staying IN!
EDITORS: If we change the light
bulb we'll have to change everything.
(Once again, thanx to Mr. Box for these GREAT works of comedy. BUY HIS
BOOK!)