Trouble with older crew members

[MEGal]

Hi Controlbooth!

I was recently referred to this forum by a friend. Seems like a wonderful resource.

I was wondering if you all have some advice for a problem I've been having. I am a fairly young lighting director who freelances as well as works part time at a couple of companies. At most places I started at the bottom and quickly moved up when the bosses realized I am quite competent at designing as well as tech work. At one I'm exclusively a lighting designer, at the others I work as a designer/programmer/master electrician/crew chief and occasionally electrician depending on the day. At one of the companies and a couple of the places I freelance there's major respect issues amongst older crew members (many of them are at least twice my age). Several of them will not listen or make insulting comments in front of the producers/artists when I am designing. Or just stand there and waste half an hour telling (turns into arguing) me how I'm doing it all wrong/stupidly and they have so much more experience. I've also had them flat out refuse to do what I say because they don't want to. At another place I freelance as a lighting director, male technicians will act like I cannot do anything remotely physical (while I appreciate a nice gentleman, the macho guy attitude is not helpful when I'm trying to get a show up and it's slowing us down). They also have decided not to "let" me do anything remotely dangerous. I am the one responsible for the show being safe, therefore I am going to either do or check all safety-critical things. So this generally results in a 5 minute argument culminating in me threatening to get them sent home if they don't get out of my way.

 

[derekleffew]

I want to see how MrsFooter, abbyt, and kiwitechgirl, et al respond before I offer my thoughts.

 

[ruinexplorer]

Welcome to the Booth.

There are a few things to discuss here. Respect is earned. If you demand it, you may be showing a sign of weakness and will make earning that respect more difficult. The older techs are testing your mettle and you will need some moxy before they will give you the benefit of the doubt. Even if you have all the skills which you state and happen to be some kind of prodigy, there are dozens others of your age who will feel the same about their skills and have proven otherwise. What you need to do is save your temper. Getting in an arguement will not further your efforts. Even if they disagree with your choices, it would not be detrimental for you to listen to what they have to say. If they have been in the business awhile, there is a good possibility that you will still learn something (even if you still do it your way).

Don't ever threaten. That shows weakness. If you are having difficulty with a crew member, confront them and state that you are open to suggestions, but this is your show. If they don't feel like following your direction, immediately speak with their supervisor. As you said, you don't have the time to waste. However, you better have evidence of their misconduct or you will have just made things worse for yourself.

You will have to prove yourself time and again until you are known and respected. It's a fact of life. This is not a bad thing, but how you handle the situation can be.

If they don't let you do things dangerous, there's nothing wrong with that either. With your age, there's a good possibility that you have not received proper training in many of the hazards in the industry. There are many older and more experienced technicians who also haven't received proper training. Unfortuneately, they probably will have shared their "knowledge" with younger techs who will continue with unsafe practices.

 

[kiwitechgirl]

Don't ever threaten. That shows weakness. If you are having difficulty with a crew member, confront them and state that you are open to suggestions, but this is your show. If they don't feel like following your direction, immediately speak with their supervisor. As you said, you don't have the time to waste. However, you better have evidence of their misconduct or you will have just made things worse for yourself.

This^^^. I suspect that even if you were male, you'd probably still have this issue - maybe not quite to the same extent, but you'd still get it.

The sexism is another story altogether. While I was at drama school I spent a summer working in a rental shop; I was the only female working there. It was very interesting to see how the guys reacted to me; some treated me no differently to my two male classmates who were also working there, some had major issues with a girl coming into their domain. I don't have a problem with being asked "are you OK with that?" but I do object to a guy coming in and trying to take over whatever it was I'm doing because he thinks I'm not strong enough. I found that saying "thanks, but I'm good with this. If I need a hand, I'll ask" enough times generally got the message through. The trick is to know your limits and work to them (which I'm sure you do) - for example, I'm not very tall (OK, I'm short!) and people know that I'll ask for assistance if I can't reach something - and I'm also not afraid to let the person flying the truss in to bring it in another foot or so so that I can actually hang lights on it! I think you need to establish a knowledge of what you are capable of; try not to make it a major issue, as best you can, but just go about it normally. It may take some time, but you should eventually get there. It may be worth approaching a production manager (or whoever it is that has hired you) and letting them know about the issues - but I'd avoid asking them to speak to the guys who are being difficult unless you have no other options. If you keep on keeping on, you should eventually get there - persistence is key.

 

[MrsFooter]

Welcome to CB, MEGal, and also welcome to my life. I'm a 26 year old Lighting Director at a roadhouse theatre who also freelances in the area. And boy, do some of your problems sound familiar. I'm going to tackle them one at a time, because that's how my brain works.

Several of them will not listen or make insulting comments in front of the producers/artists when I am designing.

Here's a little story for you. I once had a road LD get into a fight with me because I was holding him to the advance and he called me (among other things) a see-you-next-Tuesday. He was escorted off the premises by state police. The end.

If someone is standing on deck insulting you, this is something you need to go to your Production Manager (or whomever is directly above you) with. It doesn't matter if the beef they have with you is because you're young or a woman or they don't like your pants, no one should have to put up with that. Tell your superior that it's unproductive, it's unprofessional, and it's making you uncomfortable; if they don't back you up or take action to put an end to that behavior, then that's not the kind of place you want to be working and get the hell out of there.

Or just stand there and waste half an hour telling (turns into arguing) me how I'm doing it all wrong/stupidly and they have so much more experience.

This, sadly, is one I have to deal with a lot at the moment. If they're being loud and aggressive about it, see above. But if they're being all passive-aggressive about it and hiding it under a fake smile, I've found the best way to deal with it is to smile back and say something along the lines of, "That would also work but today we're going to do it this way." Then you stick to your guns. This, of course, can bite one in the ass when your way doesn't work and you have to end up doing it their way in the end, and then some humility is in order. But don't let their insecurity (because really, that's all these little temper tantrums are about) trick you into thinking that you don't know what you're doing. You do.

I've also had them flat out refuse to do what I say because they don't want to.

People in our space who purposely drag their feet or refuse to do something when asked get fired. Never ever ever forget that time = money. At the end of the day, this is a business and people are trying to make money here. You have a job that needs to get done, and if they won't do it there are plenty of us out of work who'd be glad to step in. Don't treat it like a matter of age or gender because it's not, this is a matter of an employee not doing their job. Don't go to your Production Manager saying, "Crusty won't do what I say because I'm a girl!" go to them and say, "Crusty isn't doing his job. I need someone who will."

At another place I freelance as a lighting director, male technicians will act like I cannot do anything remotely physical (while I appreciate a nice gentleman, the macho guy attitude is not helpful when I'm trying to get a show up and it's slowing us down).

Ah, yes. If I had a nickle for every time a dude's tried to take a road case or a box from me during the in. Know what solves that problem? Big ol' grin, "Thanks, but I've got it," and keep walking. That usually puts an end to that one. Never had a guy try it twice and by the out they're asking me to help them flip wheels to the sky. If anything, the confidence within my response usually makes them look like an idiot for even asking.

They also have decided not to "let" me do anything remotely dangerous. I am the one responsible for the show being safe, therefore I am going to either do or check all safety-critical things. So this generally results in a 5 minute argument culminating in me threatening to get them sent home if they don't get out of my way.

I'm not really sure what you're referring to when you talk about these "dangerous" safety-critical things, but let's assume you're talking about throwing weight or going up in the genie. What are they going to do, stop you? Unless they physically put their hands on you (which is NEVER okay and should be reported to a superior immediately they can't stop you from doing much of anything. Here's the thing, girl, you're the Lighting Director, so act like it. Don't discuss it, don't spend five minutes arguing with them, don't spend thirty seconds arguing with them. Shoulders back, strong voice, and do what needs to be done. Don't make a thing out of it, just do it. Like I said, what are they going to do to stop you?

Final thoughts. Being a woman in this industry ain't easy, but there are more and more of us out there everyday, and more and more of us in crew head positions. In many places, it's practically normal. It sounds like in both cases these guys are treating your age and gender like a handicap, and it kinda sounds like you're letting them treat it like a handicap. (From an outsider's perspective.) It's not. You're not a young woman LD, you're an LD, and while they certainly need to treat you like any other LD you need to act like any other LD. Don't let them put you on the defensive, don't argue with them, don't even discuss it. You don't have to defend yourself; your job title is all the defense you need. Just go in with your head high and your eyes forward and do your job. If they fight you or keep you from doing your job, it's not because you're a woman; it's because they're a crap employee. Let the problem be theirs.

We can do it!

 

[MEGal]

Welcome to the Booth.

There are a few things to discuss here. Respect is earned. If you demand it, you may be showing a sign of weakness and will make earning that respect more difficult. The older techs are testing your mettle and you will need some moxy before they will give you the benefit of the doubt. Even if you have all the skills which you state and happen to be some kind of prodigy, there are dozens others of your age who will feel the same about their skills and have proven otherwise. What you need to do is save your temper. Getting in an arguement will not further your efforts. Even if they disagree with your choices, it would not be detrimental for you to listen to what they have to say. If they have been in the business awhile, there is a good possibility that you will still learn something (even if you still do it your way).

Oh, I wholeheartedly agree that ideas are good. I'm a firm believer in everyone's ideas should be considered. Unless we are in a major time crunch I'm always willing to entertain alternative methods. However on many of the shows it's my head on the line for how the show looks, so if I believe one way is the better way that's my call and my responsibility. Well Bob said we should do _____ isn't going to cut it with the boss when Bob is a shop hand who got sent on the gig as an electrician and I am the freelance designer they hired.

Don't ever threaten. That shows weakness. If you are having difficulty with a crew member, confront them and state that you are open to suggestions, but this is your show. If they don't feel like following your direction, immediately speak with their supervisor. As you said, you don't have the time to waste. However, you better have evidence of their misconduct or you will have just made things worse for yourself.

Not always, but many times I am the senior person on site. In those cases it's pretty much expected that I handle issues unless it gets to the point of sending someone home which needs approval of the owner of the company.

You will have to prove yourself time and again until you are known and respected. It's a fact of life. This is not a bad thing, but how you handle the situation can be.

If they don't let you do things dangerous, there's nothing wrong with that either. With your age, there's a good possibility that you have not received proper training in many of the hazards in the industry. There are many older and more experienced technicians who also haven't received proper training. Unfortuneately, they probably will have shared their "knowledge" with younger techs who will continue with unsafe practices.

Again it's my responsibility for the show and the safety of the crew. I am also a firm believer in never asking anyone under you to do something you are not willing to do. If someone has to spot one of my rigs being flown out, it's going to be me in most cases. Not because I think it's cool or anything but because I am the person there responsible for it. I am responsible for the crew under me, they are not responsible for me, though I'd hope they have my back. If there is an expert there in something I am happy to let them do something they have more experience in in most cases. However being a 50 year old man does not in and of itself make one more qualified to do a given task. I am qualified to do a bare wire tie in, however my father/uncle/grandfather is not, on the other hand I know a 17 year old friend's son that is.

 

[MEGal]

This, sadly, is one I have to deal with a lot at the moment. If they're being loud and aggressive about it, see above. But if they're being all passive-aggressive about it and hiding it under a fake smile, I've found the best way to deal with it is to smile back and say something along the lines of, "That would also work but today we're going to do it this way." Then you stick to your guns. This, of course, can bite one in the ass when your way doesn't work and you have to end up doing it their way in the end, and then some humility is in order. But don't let their insecurity (because really, that's all these little temper tantrums are about) trick you into thinking that you don't know what you're doing. You do.

It's typically the passive aggressive type. As they would get fired if they did say anything too bad loudly enough for witnesses. There is one guy who gets a bit loud, but is smart enough to only do it when I wouldn't have any witnesses and hence wouldn't go anywhere.

People in our space who purposely drag their feet or refuse to do something when asked get fired. Never ever ever forget that time = money. At the end of the day, this is a business and people are trying to make money here. You have a job that needs to get done, and if they won't do it there are plenty of us out of work who'd be glad to step in. Don't treat it like a matter of age or gender because it's not, this is a matter of an employee not doing their job. Don't go to your Production Manager saying, "Crusty won't do what I say because I'm a girl!" go to them and say, "Crusty isn't doing his job. I need someone who will."

Good point. I have had a lot of that. Situations where for inexplicable reasons progress only takes place when I stand over a given person's shoulder, which if I have 4 crew means I've only got the work of one taking place!

I'm not really sure what you're referring to when you talk about these "dangerous" safety-critical things, but let's assume you're talking about throwing weight or going up in the genie. What are they going to do, stop you? Unless they physically put their hands on you (which is NEVER okay and should be reported to a superior immediately they can't stop you from doing much of anything. Here's the thing, girl, you're the Lighting Director, so act like it. Don't discuss it, don't spend five minutes arguing with them, don't spend thirty seconds arguing with them. Shoulders back, strong voice, and do what needs to be done. Don't make a thing out of it, just do it. Like I said, what are they going to do to stop you?

I meant to say dangerous or safety critical. Mostly things like going up in a lift, some rigging stuff (spotting/calling a rig), climbing ladders, tie ins, ect. I've had guys get in the lift and refuse to get out so I can do it, stand in the way of a ladder, grab tails and refuse to give them to me.

Final thoughts. Being a woman in this industry ain't easy, but there are more and more of us out there everyday, and more and more of us in crew head positions. In many places, it's practically normal. It sounds like in both cases these guys are treating your age and gender like a handicap, and it kinda sounds like you're letting them treat it like a handicap. (From an outsider's perspective.) It's not. You're not a young woman LD, you're an LD, and while they certainly need to treat you like any other LD you need to act like any other LD. Don't let them put you on the defensive, don't argue with them, don't even discuss it. You don't have to defend yourself; your job title is all the defense you need. Just go in with your head high and your eyes forward and do your job. If they fight you or keep you from doing your job, it's not because you're a woman; it's because they're a crap employee. Let the problem be theirs.

We can do it!

Funny thing too is I typically find the better the crews I'm working with the less of an issue. On rare occasions I've ended up working on the crew for people who usually are on my crew, and guess what, I respect their decisions. Likewise I've ended up with some much better LDs than myself on my crew on occasion and they've usually respected my decisions and been polite about recommendations (I'm always happy to listen to polite suggestions).

 

[LightStud]

I am qualified to do a bare wire tie in, however my father/uncle/grandfather is not, on the other hand I know a 17 year old friend's son that is.

Is that what it says on your (or his) ETCP card?
Seriously, an ETCP-certification could help change some people's perceptions of your skills and qualifications.

You have two strikes against you, your age and your gender. Time will cure the former, and possibly the latter as well.

However being a 50 year old man does not in and of itself make one more qualified to do a given task.

Do you do much work with IATSE crews? Look at it from the opposite prospective: He got into the business because of his father, grandfather, uncle. He's been hanging lights for the past thirty years, never bothering or having to learn what the lights actually DO, or how to read a plot, or how to run a console. The young-uns won't listen to him when he tells them to coil the cable on the floor standing upright, that half-bending over will ruin eventually ruin their back. Kids today wouldn't know a stage brace from a back brace. Along comes this uppity, know-it-all, feMALE, barking orders like she's the queen of sheba. Then during the show, she's in the booth pushing buttons while he's backstage busting his hump pushing around heavy scenery. All he's ever going to be is a neckdown, a box pusher. Technology has passed him by, there's not a lot of calls for piano board operators these days.
"Listen here, girlie-girl, I've been in this business for longer than you've been alive, so don't try and tell me what to do."

Some other actual quotes to help you prepare your retorts:
"Such a big box for such a little girl."

"Don't you have some gel to cut, missy?"

"Women don't belong in lighting or scenery. They should stay in the costume shop."

"All of the best lighting designers are gay. All of the female lighting designers are rhymes-with-witches."

"Whether or not you're the next Tharon Musser remains to be seen."

 

[jstroming]

Funny, I have never had issues with local crews disrespecting me bcause of age. I am 26 years old. Granted, I am usually hired directly by the producer and as such can boot someone from the call if necessary (as I have done several times, most recently 2 weeks ago).

I actually find that older stagehands and production people respect me MORE than younger ones. I grew up in NYC and was running union crews at Radio City at 20 yrs old (I used to be a video director). I've never had a problem with Local 1 crews being blatantly disrepectful because of my age. Sometimes disrespectful in general (HAHA) but not where I thought it was because of my age. In fact I generally find them more intrigued about the new technology and impressed by my age then pissed about it. With younger crew, I find that they think they have a better way of doing everything.

I agree with all the above posters about going to your immediate superior. If he doesn't go to bat for you, then inform him the situation is bad enough that it's serious enough you'd leave (if it is). If he still doesnt go to bat for you, then quit.

 

[SteveB]

I always liked the line "Well, I'm in charge, so we can either do it my way now, or we can do it my way later, when I'm REALLY PISSED OFF"

 

[chausman]

"We can do this my way, or my way mad"

 

[DrPinto]

"We can do this my way, or my way mad"

I am so going to use that...

 

[gafftaper]

Either you are in charge or you are not. Nothing is going to change until Crusty is told to knock it off and respect you or find work elsewhere. I say go have a private conversation with the production manager before you get in the situation. Give specific examples of what Crusty is doing wrong. The production manager will either back your play and help you deal with Crusty or leave you hanging alone. If the P. M. backs, you life with Crusty will improve. If the P. M. won't back you, the problem is institutionalized and it may be best to move on... or be ready to dig in for a big fight.

A few more general thoughts. Remember that there are some well meaning chivalrous guys who don't mean you any disrespect, they are just trying to treat you the way their Momma taught them to treat a lady. An occasional,"Thanks but I've got it . I'll let you know if I need anything. " should be all you need with guys who mean well.

If you feel the problem is more age than gender, I would make it a point to listen to the old way of doing things when you can. Remember that in the same way that you feel your new ways are being threatened by them, they feel their old ways are being threatened by you. Find common ground by asking them to contribute when it's feasible. Ask for stories about the past when you can. A young person who doesn't know it all, takes the time to listen to the old ways, and uses them when possible will earn respect from Crusty and friends.

 

[MPowers]

................ Remember that there are some well meaning chivalrous guys who don't mean you any disrespect, they are just trying to treat eir olyou the way their Momma taught them to treat a lady. An occasional,"Thanks but I've got it . I'll let you know if I need anything. " should be all you need with guys who mean well.
.....

Yeah Verily, gafftaper doth speak with wisdom and truth! I was raised in a far different world. When I was growing up, a man's role in life and society was to protect and take care of the women in his world, and that is what we were strongly taught. Once when I was very young, I asked my momma why I had to carry things for the girls. Her answer didn't make a lot of since then but I have learned her little joke had a grain of truth. She said "Honey, if God had meant for girls to lift heavy things, she would have given you boys the brains."

Of course, what really hurt was the first time a young lady opened a door..... for me.....and I realized she had done it as a courtesy to her elder. ooooooooH!

Now I like to think that I am a strong believer in equality, both to succeed and to fail. Some things took a while to comfortably live with. For example, my co-worker in sales and installation is a young lady 1/3 my age and 6" taller. I have no qualms (now) about asking her to lift heavy items for me (but it really hurt the first time!). She's younger, stronger and far more agile. I like to think we work well together. I know how a dimmer bank works "electrical". she knows how it works "electronically". I can service and fix dimmers, lights, and consoles made from 1930 to 1980. She can service and make movers and LED's dance and sing with the new consoles (most of which I have to ask her how to get the start up menu to appear!). I understand mechanical things, motors, labor and rigging. She can write up a bid faster, better and keep track of where we are on a project. I make it happen in the field.

Back to the point. What gafftaper said, some of the guys don't mean to be condescending or sexist, They just haven't quite overcome their up-bringing. Then, unfortunately, there those who are truly biased or feel threatened by a female presence. I'm the wrong gender and age to offer much help with the latter except to try and let you know that not all of us are "THEM".

 

[030366]

I just took over the lighting department at a particular house, and I definitely ran into this problem on my first couple of calls. Here's what to do:

1) Do not overthink the issue.
2) Make a plan.
3) Stick to it.

In my case, I found that the workers' disrespect didn't end up stemming from sexism or age/school of thought issues. It stemmed from the fact that when they raised opposition, I actually cared enough to stop and listen. In their eyes, that looks like you're not sure of yourself. So remember that yes, while they do have decades of experience and lots of war stories I'm sure they love to share, YOU have the job of coordinating them. Make a plan, stick to it. Own your job. While they might be irritable, I promise you that they DO recognize that you're in charge. And if they don't, tell the PM you don't want them on your crew anymore.

 

[museav]

I just took over the lighting department at a particular house, and I definitely ran into this problem on my first couple of calls. Here's what to do:

1) Do not overthink the issue.
2) Make a plan.
3) Stick to it.

In my case, I found that the workers' disrespect didn't end up stemming from sexism or age/school of thought issues. It stemmed from the fact that when they raised opposition, I actually cared enough to stop and listen. In their eyes, that looks like you're not sure of yourself. So remember that yes, while they do have decades of experience and lots of war stories I'm sure they love to share, YOU have the job of coordinating them. Make a plan, stick to it. Own your job. While they might be irritable, I promise you that they DO recognize that you're in charge. And if they don't, tell the PM you don't want them on your crew anymore.

There are certain roles that should be assigned respect until proven otherwise (note I said "role", which can be different than respecting the indvidual). And at times one may have to be firm and decisive, no argument there. I also agree with having a plan and following it. However, there are different ways to do be decisive and implement a plan and I'm not sure that not caring about your co-workers and refusing to listen to them is necessarily a good approach. Or that being open to the ideas and suggestions of others is a sign of weakness, in fact instead of reflecting strength that to me can reflect someone who is afraid they won't be able to earn or keep your respect.

If the people working for you know you and act as was described by the OP then I believe that can be quite different thanif it is people who don't know you, where you are the 'outsider', etc. With people that don't know you you need to be firm and reflect the belief that you are in charge and capable of the job, but if you walk in with a chip on your shoulder, start the relationship with threats and demands, don't recognize others' qualifications and abilities, demand respect without giving it and so on then you may be as much at fault as anyone for any resulting friction.

As long as it is valid and not something you have simply assumed, I understand and respect feeling responsible for everything. However, might some of the related attitude and actions noted result from being perceived as not trusting or respecting others' abilities and experience? If you are responsible for managing things then might it be better to find some way to delegate and verify where possible rather than doing it all yourself? To get to know and try to benefit from the skills and experience of those around you?

How about instead of "do this or else" you act as though following your direction is a foregone conclusion without having to make threats? Telling someone they are failing to meet the high expectations you had of them can often be a better motivator than saying they are working down to your low expectations.

One of the quickest ways to lose my respect and support is to demand my respect without being willing to earn it or give it in return. I interpret someone saying "You will respect me" as their saying "I'm demanding your respect because I don't think I'm capable of earning it."


FWIW, my Mother would stop and stand at doors until I opened them for her and I would get chastised if I did not offer to help a lady with carrying groceries, boxes, etc. She still does that to this day. It was a sign of respect rather than any assumption of weakness or inability. The inverse was that a simple, polite "thank you" or "thank you but I have it" was the accepted recognition of that respect. So you might want to think about whether some situations might be respect being offered and whether the response offered is as respectful.

 

[mstaylor]

Running a crew is a difficult thing to do for anybody. When you are young you have a strike against you, then being female you may have a strike against you. Learning to delegate is tough but necessary, I am a 53 yr old male that started running crews professionally at about 22 and I still don't delegate certain tasks. The thing to remember is sometimes the crusty old hand might actually have a good suggestion. Blatant disrespect, refusing to do as told or refusing to allow you to do your job, should be immediate dismissal. Guys trying to take things away from you is upbringing as noted. Simply tell you are good and carry on.
I never understood guys automatically dismissing somebody on age, sex or looks. I prefer to work and decide if the person has a clue or not. I have worked under many very good female designers and TDs. I have worked some idiots, but the same goes for males, good techs are good techs and idiots are idiots.
You are ultimately responsible for the show so it has to done to your standard. However as a professional it is also imperative that you progress in your learning. When you find yourself believing you know it all and don't have to learn anything else, quit. I have seen it many times, good techs get to a point and never realize their potential because they quit learning. Sorry for being longwinded and preachy but you have been good advice but it is impportant to remember it may not be all one sided.

 

[030366]

I'm not sure that not caring about your co-workers and refusing to listen to them is necessarily a good approach. Or that being open to the ideas and suggestions of others is a sign of weakness, in fact instead of reflecting strength that to me can reflect someone who is afraid they won't be able to earn or keep your respect.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. It happens to be the situation I'm in at the moment, though, so just a warning: apparently that kind of attitude can happen in some techies or crews. I find it unfortunate, but it is the case that something like "Hey so-and-so, have you found in your experience that hanging from a sidearm in this situation makes the light easier to focus?" can turn into "She asked so-and-so how to hang a light! She has no idea what she's doing!!".

I think it's a really good thing to turn to your crew for their expertise. No one person can know everything about every situation all the time. But lately I've found that some people don't respect that attitude at all.

If it helps, a friend of mine always says this: It's not your job to be the best lighting tech there. It's your job to organize a crew with all the skills necessary to do the job.

Don't let them intimidate you.

How about instead of "do this or else" you act as though following your direction is a foregone conclusion without having to make threats?

Yes.

 

[mstaylor]

I was doing a show where I was the advance rigger. The ME told a hand how he wanted a loom rolled and put in a case. The hand told him that he didn't his suggestions, he knew what he was doing. The ME told him it wasn't a suggestion, it was an instruction. He sent him to the steward to clock out. Direct insubordination needs to be dealt with immediately, normal questioning has to be done judiciously. I tell my guys that the show does something that they disagree with, do it anyway. It's their gear and it can be done anyway they want. Unless it is unsafe then come to me and I will handle it.

 

[StNic54]

Great thread, and a very important subject for the younger readers. I can very clearly see where you are coming from (well, from a guy's perspective), and we've all been through those times where the older male crew members treat you poorly because you are young, (you are female!), and most importantly, they don't know you. Respect is earned, but often-times this is a very male-dominated industry, and for many women respect will never be earned simply because of a man's objectivity of women. You have to be firm, no matter the situation, and know all the chains of command. Ultimately, your show is a paycheck to the crew, and money talks, so getting sent home (or worse, a labor company losing a contract altogether) is the key to wrangling a crew. Also remember that many local guys will do the least work possible, put up the biggest fight at the first sign of a real challenge, and leave things undone when you least expect it.

To play devil's advocate just a bit, I worked for a company where our boss put our only female employee on a show striking trees and fixtures at midnight, in the rain, loading a truck all by herself. His mentality was that all his employees should be on the same level. She didn't weigh more than 105 on a good day, and after I learned about her plight, I approached my boss simply because it was unfair of him to have these expectations. He was treating her like one of the guys, whereas he should have had two people on the call at least, regardless of sex. My rationale to him was this: he never expected me to lift 100 lbs 12 times in a day, so why make our only female employee lift 50lbs (half her weight) 12 times, along with the pipes, the fixtures, and the rain factor. When she left our company the following years, she had back problems to the extent of herniated discs and damaged vertebrae due to overexertion and constant lifting. The crux of this example is that many guys will 'take over', but it's ok to be firm about your abilities. Just be careful that you don't let anyone put too much on you, and then treat you poorly when you need help - always be clear about work safety.

Hang in there, keep networking, and the more people know you and how good you are at what you do, the easier it will be.