Techie sayings

[OldGrover]

I've often used the 'We're not building the Taj Mahal' one. To the point where people are using it back at me.

I'm often the carpenter/set builder and thus host 'build weekends', where I shanghai unsuspecting props people, grips and actors into helping me create strange and bizarre contraptions to satisfy the whims of the TD and the directors.

In service to this, I often introduce powertools to the unitiated. So the saying that generally comes out of my weekends is (said with HUGE grin) "I GOT TO PLAY WITH POWERTOOLS!"

-OG

 

[propmonkey]

when anyone screws up we hear a "your fired!" ive been fired over 60 times this year...... we started it last year before trump, damn it we should have somehow copyrighted it....
"crap: is comeonly over heard on the headset or around backstage. especail in the booth when my feet hit the key board for the lightboard.

note: keep feet away from lightboard.

 

[ccfan213]

were building our set now, and a newbie to crew (an actress who wasnt cast) said she would screw together boards in our set (the front porch of a house) so we gave her the drill and shes like "ok now what do i do with this thing" as u can imagine we all got a good laugh outta this.

i just realized that what i wrote has absolutly nothing to do with the topic of techie sayings, but it has to do with oldgrover's post. whatever... just ignore me im not gettin much sleep for the next 2 weeks of set building and then tech rehearsals.

 

[len]

I also use duct tape... but all my shows are one-night stands - it's never there long enough to get gooey. Tonight's show is typical - load-in is at 5PM, first band is on at 7PM, last band is off at 11 PM and the duct tape starts coming up as soon as they get their instruments out of the way.
John

I have the same problems. One easy replacement is doormats available at the big box hardware stores. Usually, you can get 2 x 4 or 3 x 4 pads. They're heavy enough that they don't move too much and don't require any tape. Plus, they're reusable. And cheaper than buying cableways.

 

[len]

I'm not tired, I'm just caffeine deprived.

 

[avkid]

i saw a Neutrik ad the other day that said:"Sleep is for the weak", i have changed it slightly and adopted it as my new motto: sleep is for the weak or unemployed!

 

[ccfan213]

wow... dave should just read this post for his tshirt slogans

 

[ship]

i saw a Neutrik ad the other day that said:"Sleep is for the weak", i have changed it slightly and adopted it as my new motto: sleep is for the weak or unemployed!

This from the company that every year takes something like a two month vacation every spring yet can't be bothered building up a stock of materials available before hand? Gets a little gaimy what's left on the market and available towards the end of their little rest.

 

[techieman33]

i can't belive techies do it in the dark wasn't mentioned that much, and for those of you old enough to drink, we keep track of every mistake that is made on crews, and however many mistakes are make that night that's how many drinks they have to take. It usually makes for a pretty fun night.

 

[ccfan213]

so do you purposely screw up?

 

[techieman33]

we do on occasion
especially closing night

oh and we keep points when we hit actors with the curtains, and compete between the 2 of us, with some bet usually attached to it, it's fun.

 

[mr_sound]

Since it's 2 am on a show day I'm not gonna read all 8 pages of this (I only read 5, hehe)..so if anyone has said this saying already...who cares. When I'm ready to start a show I usually go up to the band and say "ok, let's light this bitch up". And when I mix monitors and sound check is running late I cap off the end of sound check with "let's go eat!". I once spent time reminding everyone in a band that there was some really good food in the green room, so we should do our soundcheck really fast. Nothin gets musicians on your side like free food......or free anything.

 

[ship]

Hopefully you get there before the other 9 musician's union members get to wait out the show in the green room on a show needing six but requiring 15 given a "pro" show.

 

[ccfan213]

we dont really do pep talks that much, we call over the coms good luck or dont screw (or f**k depending on whose listening) up, but we generally spend the time when the actors are doing pep talks actually preparing for the show.

 

[SuperCow]

Anyone who even so much as tries to incite a crew pep talk is punished. Severly.

 

[ccfan213]

lol occasionally if i feel like it and have the range i will pfl the actors and listen to their pep talk, or whatever else they may be talking about

 

[Peter]

LoL, If i dont give a pep talk of some kind to focus (read 'scare') everyone a little bit, they are too busy spinning arround on the chairs to even know what's going on. If I can get them alittle scared not to mess up, they tend to pay attention abit more, learn more, and do a better job on the show.

(This being said, I dont get to do that too often, b/c a large amount of the time I dont have a crew to give a pep talk to!)

 

[TechWench]

ok, by pep talk, i meant thats what i say to them pre show. i dont like...sit them down and give them some heart felt speech about how much i value them. they know these things already!

peace!

 

[Peter]

ah ok, I mean more "scaring them" abit They know what it's for, and they know it's for the best, and it works, so hey, everyone wins

 

[RelativeMischief]

Hrmmm, lately the luck we've been having with our shows is like, "House in 5 minutes!!! SH*T get that sr audio flown!! midline truss needs to go up now, get the riggers to hang whatever lights you need!"

When I worked for the local symphony, the stage manager carried this sign around and posted it on his production room door, "Pit of Despair, Abandon Hope all ye who Enter!"

In highschool when training a new group of stagehands I would demonstrate the amazing uses of a 1/4" cable as a whip when someone wasn't paying attention.

There were some actors in our drama club that were musicians as well, they had a half decent rock trio going on, so before any production they would pick a song and re write the lyrics to it to match the production. We'd all sit around and sing the song as a warm up for musicals.

"Give 'em Hell" was generally used as go for the house to half cue.

One scene involved an actor sitting down and eating some cold cuts. On the last performance the stagehands dumped a good half bottle of tobasco sauce on the meat during set change. Thats how you teach actors to improve, with a gullet full tobasco sauce and a whole plate of food left to eat.

Overheard conversation between stage manager and light tech, "I told you NOT to "GO"!"
"YOU SAID GO, I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING EXCEPT GO. And when I do, I press the little button that says 'Go'".
"But you weren't supposed to!"
"Then you have a problem don't you?"

I didn't trust my light op to fix any problems during the show so I gave him a charlie horse and stole his shoes at the beginning of every show. (metal catwalks are hell to walk on with only socks)

Over godmic, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the vancouver east f**k ... The creekside theatre. Please enjoy the performance...."

At wakefest this year, my boss and I watching the scaffolding which was set up in the water with the bottom floor a foot above the water line. Scaff was about 40 ft high with the PA stacked on the bottome and a large scrim covering the front. "That wind is pretty strong"
"Yup".
"Those scrims look like sails".
"Yup".
"The scaff looks like it's coming apart you know".
"The scaff IS coming apart".
"Oh. What do we do".
"Tell Jordan to climb up that one and Pierre-Luc up the other one and hold it down with their weight. You run back to the shop and pick up 4 load straps"


If I think of anymore I'll post em